


Blocked

by El_Donut



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Gabe needs more love, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:46:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27185393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/El_Donut/pseuds/El_Donut
Summary: Gabriel Agreste gets bullied by two punk kids and reconsiders his life choices
Comments: 10
Kudos: 33





	Blocked

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for the most excellent Totographs Zine. Unfortunately I didn’t make the cut, but that just means I can share it right now!
> 
> (Fair enough honestly. It’s not that good)

Blocked 

  
  
  


“Unfortunately sir, the orders for the spring fashion show were delayed due to a tragic accident at the factory. They’ll arrive within the next two weeks, hopefully.” The talking head drawled.

Gabriel hated him. Video meetings like this were a sad necessity of running a multimillion dollar fashion empire, but that didn’t mean he had to like them. He tracked his gaze across the little squares, and tried to dredge any of these people’s names from the depths of his memory.

He found he couldn’t do it. Sycophants and hangers-on to a man, they all blurred together into a shambling mass of faceless businessmen who seemed determined to undermine Gabriel’s will to live.

He decided, in no uncertain terms, that he would give absolutely anything to get out of this meeting. 

Pausing, he tuned out the man's droning, and felt the emotions of Paris. Most of the time, the emotions all blurred together into an unidentifiable mess. Trying to pick out individual people was like looking for a hay-coloured needle in a hay shed. He concentrated, the meeting completely falling away from his conscious mind. His eyes widened.

There was one spike, a veritable gamut of emotions. Anger, sadness, betrayal, injustice, all blurring together into a terrible maelstrom, just ripe for akumatisation. 

Mr Ramier had been harassed by the police again. 

_ How many times has it been now?  _ Gabriel thought. Twenty-six? Twenty-seven akumatisations? He was losing track. But Gabriel, for all his other faults, was definitely not a pessimist, and he started searching for an excuse to get out of this call. He was, of course, well practiced at excuses after over a year and a half of moonlighting as a magical terrorist.

He unmuted himself. “Excuse me gentlemen, I believe I must go and urinate some blood because I drank the water.” 

“What th-“ 

He ended the call, with no suspicion raised.  _ Gabriel, you’ve done it again. _

Standing up, he made his way through the cold air of his house, to the painting of Emilie. 

_ ‘Soon we will be together again.’  _ he silently promised her. 

He thumbed the secret buttons built into the painting, and in seconds he was in his lair, the window giving him an almost heart-stopping view of the city skyline in the afternoon sun. It was ludicrously expensive to install, not to mention the cost of the surface-to-air missiles, but it added a certain flair that he enjoyed. 

He suspected that Nathalie had silently judged him for it, but it was of no importance at that moment.

Nooroo fluttered out of his jacket, hovering at his eye level. “Master, are you going to akumatise Mr Ramier again?”

“Silence Nooroo!” He snapped. “How dare you question me! ‘You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take’!” He had that on a framed poster on his bedroom wall. “Dark Wings Rise!”

A flash of magical light illuminated the darkness of his lair, before fading away.

“Soon, Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculous will be mine!” He laughed evilly. “Then, with ultimate power to re-shape reality at my finger tips, I can final-.” His cane beeped, cutting off his monologuing. 

“You. Have. Two. New. Messages.” His cane announced. Gabriel’s mind exploded as his eyes bulged out of his head; he didn’t even know it  _ had  _ voicemail. 

With terrifying slowness, he flipped up the glass dome on the head of the cane. 

_ “Hawkmoth!”  _ The message began. It was unmistakably the voice of Chat Noir.  _ “Guess what just happened. Go on, guess! Not interested? Well I just found your name in my contacts list! I guess they skipped the part of blocking numbers when they handed these things out, huh? Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Ladybug and I found a little white butterfly, and we think it’s one of yours. And we would just  _ love  _ to return it to you. Call me back, and we’ll set up a meeting. Later, Hawkie.”  _

Gabriel did his best impression of a gasping fish while trying to mentally wrestle with his thoughts in much the same way one would wrestle with a silverback gorilla.

“Next. Message.” The cane continued, heedless of his turmoil.

_ “Hawkmoth. This is Ladybug. I have to admit, I didn’t expect you to be  _ this  _ incompetent. It’d be hilarious if it weren’t so sad. But then again, how many villains have we stopped by now? I’ve lost track, and I suspect that you have as well. I mean, I admire your tenacity, but after a losing streak like yours, I’ve got to ask what’s wrong with you.” _

Gabriel scowled. How dare she! He admitted that he hadn’t had even a smidgen of success at villainy (though he had come agonisingly close), but a hero like her would never understand the lengths he would go to for his beloved Emilie. Just for that, he would create a special akuma, solely to counter her! It would-

His cane  _ rang.  _ Once, twice, then three times. Swallowing, he answered.

“Hello?”

_ “Wow, you actually picked up?”  _ Gabriel heard muttering in the background.  _ “No, seriously, he actually answered! Looks like you owe me 20 euros, m’lady!”  _ There was a pregnant pause, broken only by disjointed shouting in the background.  _ “A bet’s a bet, cough it up bugaboo.”  _ More shouting, then what sounded like a dejected sigh. 

_ “Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Hawkie, you’ll never guess who I ran into on patrol.”  _

Gabriel stayed silent. 

_ “...yeah, anyway, I ran into Mr Ramier! How weird is that? He was pretty upset, you know! So upset, in fact, I think he might have almost been akumatised. So I sat down, had a nice chat, and said goodbye. He’s feeling a lot better now.” _

Gabriel felt the emotions of Paris, searching for the spike he noticed before. It was like looking trying to identify a singular bump on a basketball, but after a few seconds of intense concentration, he found it again. Mr Ramier had calmed down, no longer an acceptable target. He suppressed a growl of frustration.

_ “But it’s not like he would've been akumatised in the first place, right?”  _ Chat continued. “ _ He’s been akumatized thirty times now. If I had a success rate like that, I’d probably give up. Like, what kind of  _ moron  _ does something thirty times and expects things to change?” _

_ “Do  _ you  _ know anyone that stupid, Hawkmoth?” _

Gabriel stood there and thought. If he was being honest with himself, it did sound silly when Chat put it like that.

He was drawn out of his thoughts when Chat spoke again.  _ “Can’t think of anyone? Yeah, I didn’t think you could. And by the way, I wanted to follow up on my previous message. I still have this white butterfly of yours, did you want to give me an address or som-“ _

“Dark Wings Fall.” Another flash of light wanly illuminated the room.

Nooroo, released from the brooch, took a moment to get his bearings before focusing on Gabriel. “Master? Is something the matter?” Nooroo asked.

Chat… actually did have a point, Gabriel realised. He had made thirty seperate attempts with  _ one  _ singular akuma. If someone he knew tried the exact same thing over thirty times he’d have them thrown in an asylum. This… mad quest of his had completely taken over his life, to the point it was all he could think about. He woke up thinking about akumas, and he went to bed thinking about akumas. 

He could no longer think rationally. He was an empty husk of a person, so completely focused on his one goal that he had forgotten what is was like to live. He thought of Emilie’s smiling face, and he felt a tightening in his chest. His mind drifted to Adrien. Another casualty of his herculean task. When was the last time he actually sat down and talked to his son? The last one he had dinner with him?

What would Emilie say, if she could see him now? 

His face contorted into a grim smile. Never mind talking, she wouldn’t even be able to look him in the eyes. 

He had pushed away what few friends he had, his business, even his own son, and for what? He was a husk, a host for the monster known as Hawkmoth. He had let down the people closest to him, but deep down, they probably didn’t care at all. He had been at this for over a year, nearly two in fact, and yet had so very little to show for it. 

What if… what if he just quit? Could he even do that? Or had he come too far, and corrupted his mind and soul beyond redemption? So many questions, each more terrifying than th-

“Master? Master! Are you okay?”

Gabriel snapped back into reality. “Bu-whah?”

Nooroo hovered in front of Gabriel’s face, head bowed. “You, uh, you just sort of stopped and stared straight ahead, for, like, five minutes. Are you okay? Do you need a lie down?”

“No. No, I’m fine Nooroo.” Gabriel said. “I was merely stuck in a really deep internal monologue.” He rubbed his face and sighed.

Nooroo glanced around nervously. “Well, um, I guess that’s interesting.”

Gabriel ignored the little Kwami, reaching into his suit jacket for his phone. He dialled a familiar number, and he noted with some satisfaction that it barely rang once.

_ “Can I help you sir?”  _ Nathalie asked. 

“I need you to collect all the chocolate in the house and bring it to my bedroom.” He said without preamble.

_ “... sir, this is awfully forward of you. But definitely not unwelcome.”  _ Gabriel felt he could hear a note of sly satisfaction in his assistant’s normally monotone voice. 

“What? N-no! Nothing like that! I’m just taking the day off, is all.” He took a deep breath, then another.  _ Focus, Gabriel.  _

_ “I’ll take care of it, sir.”  _ She answered, with almost indecent haste. 

Mildly perturbed, Gabriel ended the call while his thoughts drifted back to Chats mocking. He loathed to admit it, but his year-long losing streak had been getting to him. And while Gabriel knew he had been neglecting Adrien, his entire supervillain career had been started for his benefit.

He couldn’t just quit. Not now.

_ ‘What about a compromise?’ _ A part of him thought. One week with no akumas. One week to reconnect with his son.

One week to reorder his mind, then a triumphant return to supervillainy with fresh energy.

Glancing at his watch, he noted that Adrien was due to come home in two hours. Two hours to watch a movie, maybe do some soul-searching. Then, he would be the father Adrien deserved. Have dinner with him, ask him how life was.

Yes, a week off sounded lovely.

**Author's Note:**

> Gabe is easily the funniest character in the show.


End file.
